It was both bittersweet, and nerve wracking-the day I walked out of the Children’s Church room for the last time on a Sunday as Children’s Pastor. Knowing that the next day I would start another journey of which I am still uncertain, and still leaning on God tremendously to get me through.
Someone asked me how I felt. If I was sad, or would miss it? Both transitions have proven to be quite different. It’s probably why there are so many mixed feelings and emotions attached.
At times I feel afraid. There are times I am still heartbroken. Other times just numb. Clinging to that last ounce of hope that I have been known to hold onto even when others don’t. Change is always hard. Especially when you can’t see the road in front of you. When you know where it leads and who guides you, but you have no idea what waits for you along the path.
But, I was still able to give this answer: “I’m not leaving them behind. Im watching them grow, but in a different place.”
It didn’t dawn on me until later just how profound that statement really was.
Until I sat in Sunday School.
With the teens who I had known, had even taught on Sunday mornings from the time some of them were 5. Now high schoolers. Some close to graduation. All talking about their hopes, dreams, and desires.
Some I had a hard time dealing with as 4th and 5th graders. Many who I thought just weren’t getting the message at all.
Then Jesus said, “God’s kingdom is like seed thrown on a field by a man who then goes to bed and forgets about it. The seed sprouts and grows—he has no idea how it happens. The earth does it all without his help: first a green stem of grass, then a bud, then the ripened grain. When the grain is fully formed, he reaps—harvest time! Mark 4:26-29
We plant seeds. But, we can’t really know when, why, or how they will grow.
Many times we can plant a seed, and never see it grow, until many years later. Until those seeds planted at the age of five, have sprouted into soon to be high school graduates.
God is the source of that growth. We just have to be faithful sowers. Never ceasing to continue to plant in the hopes that one day, a desperate heart will hear His Word, and bloom.
Even when it looks like that seed is being choked by thorns and weeds. Not taking root. Not growing. We never stop planting.
We always pray and hope for the harvest. Because there WILL be a season of harvest.
One day we will look out among the kingdom of God and see all the seeds we planted and then left to grow-blooming gloriously in front of us.